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Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the decks
Not a creature was stirring, not even the techs;
The uniforms were hung by the bunks with care,
Except for Kirk’s, which he’d tossed on his chair.

The ensigns were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Orion Slave Girls danced in their heads.
With Spock and Kirk resting, the night crew in charge
I settled myself in to run this space barge

When beyond the ionosphere there arose such a clatter
I wondered how sound could travel without matter.
Away to the view screen I dashed to the station
Flipped on the communicator and gave salutation

The moon and the sun and the planets in motion
Gave no indication of the cause of commotion
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh sans eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew right away that it must be St. Nick.
Please help me, he cried, deer can’t travel through space
And the universe isn’t limited to the human race,

Oh, Sulu, Oh Checkov, you there in that red shirt!!
Get Doctor McCoy, Find Captain James T Kirk!
Hook my sleigh to your spaceship with your tractor beam
Have Scotty  come up with some ingenious scheme

Do whatever it takes for this one-night mission
Ask Spock to contribute with his erudition!
As I reached for the ship’s com and was turning around
Out the turbolift the Captain came with a bound

Followed by Spock and the command crew
He called to the engine room, “Scotty, you know what to do”
Then to the transporter room his feet took their flight
He beamed Santa on board in a twinkling of light

As Santa stood there in his red fur-lined suit
Spock raised his hand in Vulcan salute.
So to the outskirts of the Federation they flew
With a sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas, too.

And then with a twinkling they beamed planet side
St Nick and two red shirts along for the ride
For Vulcans; Sehlats and logic puzzles,
Targhs for the Klingons - make sure that they’re muzzled!

Warm jackets for Andorians, surveillance proof and blue,
Ale for the Romulans, Santa’s special brew.
With presents distributed and red shirts alive
To the Enterprise they returned, grateful to survive.

Santa smiled, then laid his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the Jeffries tube he rose,
Leaving gifts for the Enterprise crew, both naughty and nice
He called out a thanks, he called it out twice.

Then I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight!
Live long and prosper – Happy Christmas tonight!


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Dec. 16th, 2010 12:25 am (UTC)
This is so awesome! You're so talented!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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