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Feeling dumb. Maybe I'm just tired.

That Amazon guy was on the Daily Show tonight - he laughed almost the entire time. It made me happy to hear so much laughter.

Argh. I feel embarrassed over the programming class, darn it. I will be glad when it is over. Thankfully Monkeys seems to be understanding it. I was trying to make the homework assignment for chapter four to be much more difficult than it was. I'm trying to make myself feel better by telling myself I didn't have these problems with chemistry, Spanish, astronomy, etc. Plus, I really do think if we had an in-class course instead of distance learning I'd be doing much better. She has high praise for her teaching skills on RateMyInstructor and has high praise from coworkers, so I know she is a great teacher. I really think it is the format and my paranoia. All we are doing is reading the chapter, writing out a glossary from the chapter terms in the back of the book (each chapter we submit our "glossary" as one of our assignments), typing up notes to submit to her to show we are taking notes, and answering specified questions in the textbook or on a worksheet. Oh, and taking quizzes. So far I've gotten hundreds on all the assignments, but haven't actually gotten any specific feedback - so i don't really know if I am doing the problems correctly to earn a hundred or earning the grade just because I did all the work. I also don't know what about my work is correct but could be done more efficiently or effectively. I usually send her one email per chapter asking her to look at how I am solving one of the problems - along the lines of "is this a correct assumption" - and she usually writes back saying it's okay or offering a clarification which I use to go on and do all the problems, but I worry that my emails are tiresome or stupid. I have a new mantra now - "Not getting parameters and global variables from reading a textbook does not make me stupid." Repeat that fifty times. Sigh.

Honestly, the homework assignment in the textbook *was* confusing. Even Monkeys didn't understand it. He was afraid his interpretation was too easy and thought it should be more difficult, too. It's just he didn't actually *make* it more difficult like I did. In fact, her email back to him actually thanked and praised him for coming up with a simple solution and said it showed he actually understood the concepts... Of course in addition to being very proud of him, I thought it showed a stark contrast to the not so simple solution I sent her earlier today, which made me feel even more dumb.

Yoga and Catechism are going well, at least!

On the Origin of PCs (brilliant name, huh? I love puns)

Started First Among Sequels (Thursday Next) that Jim*the*Librarian lent me. It, too, is chock full of puns. (woot)
Jim*the*Librarian is not on LJ so he will not know whether or not I think he is awesome.

I also started the collection of Flash comic books that Magnet5 gave me for Christmas. Magnet is probably thinking "well, that took long enough" :) It will take even longer to finish - it is a HUGE book. I'm very excited about it, however, because it has a lot of early stories.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 25th, 2009 03:48 am (UTC)
That actually makes me feel better! Because I know you are quite intelligent. So if you have moments like this, too, then maybe I'm not so bad. ;P

It wasn't until I said the name out loud that I got "origin of species." I'm not sure if that was his intention, but it made me giggle, so that's enough for me.
Feb. 25th, 2009 10:59 pm (UTC)
so you're getting 100s and feeling dumb?
Smack. Smack.
You are so not dumb.

Glad you're enjoying the Flash book. Don't worry about finishing fast on my account--I reread books like that at the rate of one "issue" a week. It gives me more of the feeling of when I was a kid, waiting from one issue to the next. And if I break down and read several at a gulp, then it's that much more exciting.
Mar. 2nd, 2009 01:46 am (UTC)
I've been reading one comic a day for the most part. :)
I just met Kid Flash.
Mar. 2nd, 2009 12:46 pm (UTC)
I liked that one more than I did when I first read it. John Broome (Main flash writer) did a good job capturing Wally's excitement over becoming Kid Flash, I thought.
Feb. 26th, 2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
Your e-mails are helping the teacher to teach you; without the direct interaction of a classroom, the only way she knows whether or not you understand the material is for you to ask questions when you have them. Given your grades, she knows you can get the right answers, so you need to let her know when you need clarification on the procedures behind getting the right answers. You're helping her to help you.
Mar. 2nd, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
You are completely right. I've been telling myself that and reminding myself about what I liked when I was teaching. (I much preferred students who were actively participating.) I just have this mindset that since I'm not seeking a degree/job in this field all emails are distracting her from students who should be higher priority. I'm working on telling myself auditors pay the same fees as traditional students (although the fact I didn't actually have to pay for the class doesn't help my crazymindset), so all students are equal - but if it's their lifelong dream and I'm only in it because Monkeys wanted to take a programming class it's making it hard for me to convince myself. Still, if I'm taking a class I want to *learn* from it, so I'm putting in the interest and effort and apparently what feels like way too many emails. :(

After my teacher saying that of all her distance learning students, there are only three of us emailing her, however, I'm not nearly as stressed out about emailing. Either her other students are getting it and don't need her time/help *or* they aren't as focused on accomplishing their dreams as I think they ought to be, so I have free reign now. :)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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