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We drove about 45 minutes to class last night. Sat in the classroom for an hour waiting for the teacher to show up before giving up and making the return trip home. I work for the college, so I pridefully assumed I would be able to find out what happened. My phone messages to the instructor (who is also the guy who fixes our computers when they act up) and the department were ignored. My email to the instructor was also ignored for most of the day. Around lunch time I got an automatic email telling me the class was cancelled - but I doubt all the others in the class got that email because it went to the "student email account" which no one knows to activate until after they've been to their first class. I know at least one of the other students last night was new, so she probably didn't have her email account activated. My husband doesn't, so he never got the warning. Anyway, I suppose it's good because I'll be more sympathetic to students who call complaining that their class is cancelled. I can say, "Yeah, that sucks. I wish they'd let us know *before* we waste our time and gas going to the class." I'm wondering if maybe my phone messages were what triggered them actually canceling the class. Maybe they had forgotten it was on the schedule. Well, at least I can give directions to that campus now. I had never been to that one before, so now I've been to all six locations. It's a pretty nice building. (Toaster works there.) Oh, and I did finally get a response from the instructor saying the class cancelled. It came after the automated email, so I already knew about it, but I thanked him anyway. Never want to get on the bad side of the guy who fixes your computer, even if he did stand you up.

Now we are in the distance learning version of the class. I'm not so sure about this. It's kind of a deja vu of last semester when we tried to take the programming class. In less stressful news, I'm also taking yoga again.

Tomorrow is Friday! With each passing day the lines get shorter. Huzzah! It'll get crazy again on Monday and slowly wind down over the week. Funny how that works. Still hectic, still crazy, but compared to Monday today was a dream. And people are still being mostly nice, which is amazing and unheard of during registration. I'll take this kind of crazy! I was looking at my desk today - covered in paper and files and Godknowswhat - and it occurred to me that one thing I do like about this new job as compared to my old one is that the bachelors folders are color coded. Business is purple, nursing is red, and education is green. I had a rainbow on my desk. The girls out in the main office (lower division degrees) just have manilla folders. It made me appreciate the cheering effect of colors. That newfound color appreciation and a fear of losing something in the HammerMill Explosion that currently is my desk inspired me to set up a blue folder to store paperwork that just needed filing (which is putoffable during registration), an orange folder called "to do" (to store whatever was unfinished at the end of the day), and a grey folder called "Friday" (to store stuff that was of lower priority). Skittles!

I have this weird sinking feeling that I'm fighting. A shoe is going to drop; it's looming above me. Most of the time I'm shockingly cheerful and upbeat - the nonstop running and talking hypes me up like crazy, giving me a bit of a false high. When I lose that high, however, the anxiety starts up. Last night I was trying to figure out what is haunting me. There's drama with the school. I'm worried about various friends' physical and mental states of health. I'm inundated with work right now, but we all are. I'm afraid I'm going to miss something or make a stupid error in all the furor. People are on edge because of the demands being put upon them, so occasionally there are flare ups. There are financial stresses for us and for the nation right now. My house is really disorganized, and I can't tell if that is a reflection of my mental state or if it's just affecting my mental state. I'm vaguely sick, vaguely exhausted, and vaguely PMSy. Maybe it's one of these things. Maybe it's all of these things. Maybe there's something else.

I want to lie in a field of grass underneath some bright sunshine.

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( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
mcamason
Jan. 9th, 2009 03:38 am (UTC)
ah, sweetie, if you need help getting your house cleaned, let us know. I know that won't make everything magically "on-keel," but if there's anything we can do that will help, don't hesitate to let us know.

Love to you, and to John,

-M
madladyred
Jan. 10th, 2009 12:46 am (UTC)
We are probably going to make an effort to do some cleaning tonight, but in case we don't just be prepared for moving stuff around to sit down tomorrow night. :)

I need a messy icon.
disbandedtoastr
Jan. 9th, 2009 04:37 am (UTC)
Yeah! YOU tell'em!
The "man's" tryin' to keep us students down!

STUDENT POWER!!!
disbandedtoastr
Jan. 9th, 2009 04:39 am (UTC)
Oh, and what's the computer dude's last name? (Not that i know him, cuz they tend to stay in their building, and we in ours. ... Oh, and we mutually try not to break stuff.)
sarahtoalaska
Jan. 9th, 2009 05:18 am (UTC)
When I worked in the office abstracting I use to take my 15 minute breaks outside. (This was spring so it wasn't TOO hot) I'd find a nice spot in the sun and and lie out. Just lie in the sun and felt it on my eye lids... it was wonderful. It freaked people out in the office. Every time someone saw me for the first time they would freak and tell someone in the office they thought something was wrong with me. (At least they didn't leave me out there thinking I was hurt) Someone would always have a nice chuckle and explain it was just me... being cooky and hanging laying in the sun.

It never occured to me it was something weird to do. It was nice, a little breezy... why WOULDN'T I lie out in the sun?
madladyred
Jan. 10th, 2009 12:45 am (UTC)
My coworkers think I'm a bit off, too! I go for walks during my lunch, but most of the time I just walk circles around the building. I just like being outside in the fresh air and moving, so I don't care that my view is restricted. But until they got used to me doing it, I would get all sorts of weird looks and comments. It's been a year now, so now I get the chuckles and the encouragement. I have headphones on so I can't really hear anyone, but they do the pumping their arms gesture like they are rooting me on. :)
ann_mcn
Jan. 9th, 2009 11:39 am (UTC)
Most of the time I'm shockingly cheerful and upbeat - the nonstop running and talking hypes me up like crazy, giving me a bit of a false high. When I lose that high, however, the anxiety starts up.

You have no idea how good it is to read that. I am that way too, and it is so hard to explain to anyone what is going on. (It isn't depression) I've been fighting that looming feeling, too, except for me it's more like being under siege. An outdoors break sounds wonderful.
madladyred
Jan. 10th, 2009 12:41 am (UTC)
Yes! Exactly! I can't explain it either, but it's not depression. I'm grateful for that. (For both of us!) I'm going to see if my parents want to go on a picnic tomorrow.:)
supergoober
Jan. 9th, 2009 04:57 pm (UTC)
Ach, there's no shoe, just stress and worry. I believe a nice break from the action would be just the ticket.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets geeky about colored office supplies. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to have different colored folders for different things, and if I can't have that, then I draw on the plain manilla ones with colored Sharpies. It's the little things. :)
madladyred
Jan. 10th, 2009 12:40 am (UTC)
My dream job would be ordering office supplies for people. I love love love office supplies. Except that in my dream world that job would pay billions of dollars. :) But in this new job I do get to order my own supplies. Florida's budget cut-crazy for education right now, so I have to be fairly responsible, but I managed to justify a loads of different colored highlighters (*everything* is color coded in my office) and folders/binders to match the folder color system. I also went a bit out on my own to supplement with my own funds.

I am hoping to get a nice break after the 15th when registration ends. :)
magnet5
Jan. 10th, 2009 12:10 am (UTC)
Vague and nameless dreads are frustrating and unsettling,especially since they can't be identified.
madladyred
Jan. 10th, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
Yes, it's like our friends who are sick but the doctors can't figure out what's wrong, only what isn't wrong. Not knowing. Gah.

I was trying to figure it out, but it was starting to depress me more reflecting on things, so I stopped. I'm going to enjoy the weekend and get some rest.

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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