My 29 Days are over.

Wednesday May 9th, Day 29
My gift was Haikupcakes. Our poetry group met for the first time this summer, so I brought 17 cupcakes and laid them out 5/7/5 on a tray. Then I put out two cans of frosting with knives and left a poem beside it: Frosting optional/but highly recommended/as much as you like

I got a lot of compliments on both the idea/presentation and on the actual frosting and cupcakes, even though they were just from a box/can. In fact, someone said “that’s so April” – which made me really happy. And it was the only food there and we met for several hours, so turns out it was really useful as a snack, so score! Then the leftovers I brought to work for my coworkers who were happy, I gave one to one of our physical plant people who happened to help a coworker carry a refrigerator to her desk so he got an instant karma thank you (he was actually really happy for the cupcake and ended up staying and chatting for a bit), AND I gave one to my dad at lunch today. Chocolate cupcakes are Dad's favorite, so he was super happy. That made the gift that kept on giving.

Tuesday May 8th, Day 28
I gave my free margarita to Tammy! I planned that gift weeks in advance. Yes it counts even though it was the free one. Normally *I* drink two and like them both very much, so I think that makes it a gift. I received a gift that night, too. Toaster drove us there and back. Thank you Toast!

Monday May 7th, Day 27
My gift was going to a friend’s father’s funeral. It’s weird to consider that a gift, but I had to arrange to leave work during a busy time (registration/graduation) and I was gone for two hours, so it was a sacrifice I made in order to be there. Plus, no one likes going to funerals. But I got so much more out of being there than I gave in going there. It was a really touching experience. I cried multiple times, even though I’d never met her father. I want to use the same readings for mine, I took notes on what the priest said, and I felt like I know my choirmate so much more now and have so much respect for how composed she was while speaking the eulogy.



So now it is done. 29 Gifts in 29 Days. I did manage to give something away for 29 days straight, but I don’t know how much of an impact it’s had on me. I don’t know if I was doing it with the right spirit or the right intention. I don’t know if I gave enough or if what I gave was too frivolous. Maybe I didn’t concentrate enough or journal enough or reflect enough or sacrifice enough. I don’t know. So I might try this again after we get through our upcoming travel-heavy weeks.

Part of this process was journaling - both about what I'm giving and the giving's affect on me AND about what I'm getting because you are supposed to recognized giving/getting as a circle or a flow or something. I didn't quite understand that bit and the further from the book I get the more hazy I become. But I do recognize you have to learn how to ACCEPT a gift because if I'm trying to give people things and they rejected my gifts how would I feel? So I need to learn to gracefully accept from others so that they have the opportunity to give, as well. That I understand. One gift we received last week was a surprise visit from a friend whose brother passed away earlier this year. My husband and his brother had bonded over cooking and would talk about it for hours and occasionally get together to play with receipts. I've known both of them since about 1992. Anyway, he brought over some of his brother's cookbooks, a Monty Python book, and an Xbox to give to us because they were his brothers and related to experiences or hobbies we shared. If I write more about that I might cry. Another gift I received this past week was Toaster doing my toes. I have always hated my toes. I thought they were funny shaped nails and never looked nice painted like my choir mates. She spent an hour or more trimming, shaping, filing, tweaking, etc. and got them into great shape! She also bought all the supplies to do that and some glitter polish for me, so that when I painted them afterwards they looked like my choir mates and really professional. I felt so guilty because to me it seemed like yucky work to be that close to someone's feet - but she swore she liked doing nails. Still, it was really hard at first for me to accept this gift gracefully because I felt like I was taking major advantage of her and make her do something yucky. She did such a beautiful job, and I felt so special. I wore open toed shoes for the first time to work - I wore them every day that week. I even picked out clothes around the polish color.

Okay - sadly, this may not be right gift on the right day, but this is the best I can do. Maybe I do need to start over!

Wed/May 2, Day 22
I wrote six letters - one to a friend in jail who really appreciates any mail. In fact, I just got a letter back from him thanking me as most of our crew and even some of his family doesn't write to him. He keeps asking for pictures - I really need to get on the ball and send pictures. :)

Thurs/May 3, Day 23
I gave one of my favorite rings to Bree. It no longer fits my thumb. I've known that for a year and kept holding on to it for maybe it'll get so hot my thumb will expand, but no luck. I bought it at a music festival with dear friends, so it's the ring and the memories. But the ring is super cool - celtic pattern and the middle band spins, so when you are anxious you can spin it or fiddle with it. Anyway, Bree loved it. So I'm glad it went to a person who will wear it and cherish it almost as much as I do.

Fri/May 4, Day 24
Assistance and support on things that were "not my job" - on Friday (and on Saturday) I did everything I could to help Bree with getting ready for the graduation ceremony. Even if I wasn't physically doing something, I was a venting board or cheering squad or something. Honestly, I don't think I did enough and felt like I was getting off too easy, but despite how I have assessed my contribution, I must be offbase, because she thanked me sincerely a couple of times and commented on what a help I was.

Sat/May 5, Day 25
Encouragement - when lining up grads I made sure to be extra friendly, extra excited, extra encouraging, extra funny, etc. I applauded and sang and high-fived. I even meant it, after a while. :) Plus I jumped in with any coworker that needed a hand whenever I had a free moment. The return was immediate - the students responded with as much friendliness, excitement, and humor as I gave out - one even came up to me after the ceremony and told me how much he appreciated our college staff and what all we do for the students. :) And another coworker came up to me and Karyn and commented on how incredibly helpful we had been that night.

Sun/May 6, Day 26
Helping a friend move and my donation in the collection plate at church today, although I should have donated more. Also, this is a lame gift but for me it's a pretty big one - since I wasn't able to drive to FWB in time to see John & MJ in person, I spoke to them on the phone. I don't like phones - I'm sure I was stupid on the phone, but I did it because I wanted to make sure they knew I loved them.

I've been okay with gifting, but horrible with writing about it. I didn't even make notes, so I've forgotten a day. I'm not sure if I should just start over or work on trying to remember that day.

May 1 - Day 21
Gave my electric guitar to a friend. When I was 15 I got my first job just so that I could buy that guitar. Never really played it, I do better on acoustic. Despite that, I couldn't let go of the guitar because of sentimental reasons - I worked so hard to get it, it was my first "credit building" exercise, it was my first major purchase, etc. Plus it was hard to let go of the intention of learning to play electric, it was admitting defeat. So I held on to that thing for 25 years. I had even had people ask if they could have it since they knew I wasn't using it, but I turned them down. One of the major concepts in the book was letting go of something that was hard to relinquish - that guitar was that thing for me. Only, it turns out it was surprisingly easy. I never knew my friend wanted to play, but apparently it was a strong desire for ages, so it felt really good to give it away. And I was happy it was going to someone who actually wanted it and would give it a good home.

April 30 - Day 20
I brought in my camera card to work and gave copies of the pictures I took at our coworker's daughter's wedding. I had gone around at the wedding taking pictures of as many coworkers as I could so that I would be able to do this, which was a good thing as I was the only one of us who brought a camera. I even put the pictures on some of their computers, for the ones who wanted them but didn't know how to copy pictures from a card. (Yes, there were two people who had trouble.) Also, I wrote a bunch of letters to family and friends. I love getting real paper letters in the mail, and some of them aren't online, so it's the only form of contact they can get right now.

April 29 - Day 19
I'm going to steal one of the gift ideas she used in her book: the money I put in the collection plate at church. :)

April 28 - Day 18
I gave a wedding gift! And I got the opportunity to help the mother of the bride carry some pillars to the reception, which was probably the better gift. It's customary to give a wedding present, so that's a no brainer. But getting to be of use - that's awesome. She even thanked me again at work today for the help.

April 27 - Day 17
Even though it was embarrassing, I gave a package of M&Ms along with a card apologizing for not only not knowing a coworker's name but for introducing myself to him as if I'd never met him before. I thought he looked familiar when I walked into the meeting, but because he was standing next to a student and because I saw him introduce himself to my coworker Patty and shake her hand just after the student did the same thing, my brain said "well, he looks familiar, but he must be a student" and it shut down after that. Then about five or ten minutes later it clicked that he was one of our I.T. people, and he looked familiar because he'd probably been through our office with equipment. I couldn't place it right away because it was out of my usual way of seeing him. I was so embarrassed and didn't know whether to acknowledge my flub or ignore it. That day I ignored it, but I thought about it that night and decided since he had to know I'd spaced (I held out my hand to shake his hand and asked his name twice cuz I didn't hear him the first time - ugh!) it would be a nice thing to say sorry. I left the stuff on his desk since he was away. I got an email later that day thanking me for the M&Ms and saying he did that too/not to worry about it/and technically he was a student so I was right all along, he liked my AFC Facebook page that evening (I'd mentioned it in a meeting), and today he was in our area signing up for a class and he came into my office afterwards to once again tell me no worries. :)

April 26 - Day 16
I arranged for and bought a Kaps for Kids shirt for a coworker who saw us in our shirts the day before and was sad she didn't get one. (Thanks to Shelley from the House for making an extra trip with the shirts - I also sold three other shirts, which meant extra money for the House.)

April 25 - Day 15
Kaps for Kids Day! So I gave time promoting the charity and organizing the group picture.

April 24 - Day 14
Tuesday Night Margarita Club! I tried to give my free margarita to Droid, but somehow that got waylaid. I still think it should count because it wasn't me that stopped it from happening. We (John & I) gave time for everyone to sober up before driving home by riding together and letting everyone crash on the couch a bit after dinner. We always do that, but that doesn't lessen it being a gift.

April 23 - Day 13
I know I did something - but for the life of me I can't remember right now. :( :( :(

April 22 - Day 12
More tipping, but the big thing was that I drove the entire way home from GARF specifically so that John could sleep in the car and be in good shape for work the next day. I place gifts of sacrifice above monetary gifts. :)

April 21 - Day 11
I gave my dad a cone of cookies. I tipped performers (even when we weren't supposed to).

April 20 - Day 10
I drove the entire way to GARF so that my parents wouldn't have to drive at night. John could have driven some, too, so that they didn't have to drive - but I was doing okay, so I did the entire route. :) I think I did something else, too, as a deliberate gift, but I can't remember what it was right now.

Today my gift was sharing my parents with a coworker at lunch. I know that sounds like a weird gift, but usually when my parents and I have lunch together I like for it to be just us. Possessive, I know, but have you ever loved someone or something so much you want the dinner or movie or whatever to be just you and them? Date night - leave the kids at home. Well, I'm kind of like that with my parents at lunch. This is our special family time. But today I welcomed a coworker to our table when she came into the break room looking for a table - and the four of us had a really good time! She watches the same British mysteries as we do, so it was a rousing conversation. My dad really got into the Downton Abbey topic, left me out completely because I don't watch that one - LOL. Maybe we should adopt her. :)

I forgot to mention my other gift yesterday - I was excited about it, so I'm surprised I forgot. But yesterday was a screwy day. On Tuesday the Ronald McDonald event was in the same parking lot as JoAnn's Fabrics. I knew my coworker was disappointed about not being able to find sky blue cross stitch fabric (she'd checked two cities but no luck) so that she could make a dove and a cross for part of her daughter's confirmation outfit, so I took advantage of being so close to JoAnn's and found the fabric for her! (And mom gave me a 50% off coupon, so I got it for a steal!) Anyway, I gave it to her on Wednesday, and she was sooooooo happy and excited! Made my morning.

In the book she talks about how much she got back from giving - and not the happy feel good emotions of doing something nice for others, but actual STUFF. She talked of money, increased business in her company, physical items - that kind of thing. She also stressed that getting something wasn't the point of giving, I think in an effort to counterbalance all the "getting" comments. And she painted receiving and giving as a dynamic and reciprocal process, like the interconnectedness of all things. Even with that, I still felt like she was a bit of a salesman peddling her 29 gifts/29 days idea, book, website. She was making money off the book, right? So what was her real reason for being so enthused about giving - did she want to start a movement or make a profit. (Prophet or profit?) I'm really jaded sometimes.

But this morning after handing out the shirts to the people in my office, one of my shirt recipients showed up at my desk with a warm, freshly baked cinnamon roll from the cafeteria downstairs. She said it was a thank you for all my hard work facilitating the fundraiser. And for a moment I wasn't jaded, I understood what she meant by interconnectedness between giving and receiving.

Today my gifts were gifts of service.

I gave a coworker a ride to our fellow coworker's mom's viewing. Also,I passed regards on for another coworker and picked up a notice from the viewing for another coworker who couldn't make it. I think the hugs count as gifts, too. I hate viewings, but this one was quite lovely. They did a beautiful video tribute, and he stood beside us the entire time describing the pictures as they crossed across the screen. My other act of service was agreeing to take notes at the Staff Council Meeting because their secretary was out today. I didn't realize the magnitude of that agreement. I took 12 pages of notes. It took an hour and a half to type them up afterwards, so I gave them 2 1/2 hours of my work day. I ended up having to stay late to counterbalance some of the time. I learned I don't want to be their secretary when the current officers terms are up! So that's a good lesson. :) Between the viewing (1 hour), handing out shirts (2 1/2 hours), and taking their notes (2 1/2 hours), I am shocked I was still able to get some of my own tasks done!!

Today my gift was time. In fact, I've used so much of it and am so tired, that I don't have the time to invest in writing this right now. :) But from 3pm to 10pm tonight I was working for the Kaps for Kids fundraiser - handing out shirt orders, checking the orders to make sure they were correct, helping with the silent auction & door prizes, taking pictures for our scrapbook and the house, fetching water, helping with clean up, helping pour pop tabs out of weird bottles, or whatever else they needed. Mom came with me and helped, too. droidgirl was there, and a coworker. We had a good time! We were at a restaurant that is right on the bayou; the setting was lovely. Ronald McDonald helped me spot the pod of dolphins that swam through while we where there!!

I got home right around 8 pm and spent 2 hours sorting through the 40 multiple shirt/cap/bag orders from our college, bundling and bagging for delivery tomorrow. I need to find a better way of doing that. I could just take the box as is and set out all the sizes and hats around my office and just have people come to me and me separate it out then - that would be way easier. But if I presort and bag then I know for sure that every order is right and ready, so I guess I sleep better not worrying that someone will pick up the wrong size and suddenly Ms Whatsface shirt is missing.

My description is so boring, but the night was really nice. Now I want to sleep.

Today my gift was an Easter present for a coworker who joined the Catholic church this Easter. I had bought it for him before Easter (thanks Toaster!) and crossed paths with him three times between Easter and today, but always when I was away from my office and the St. Florian card and medal. He was a firefighter and created the college's Fire Science program, hence the Saint Florian, Patron Saint of Firefighters. So *finally* today I was able to give him the card. He emailed me a thank you with an exclamation mark (yay) and a few sentences about his journey and how wonderful the RCIA program had been for him. I realized the gift the RCIA group every year gives to me. Watching them during Lent, hearing the priest ask us to pray for them, joining them for some of the Holy days reminds me every year of my RCIA journey three years ago. It keeps me aware of how significant the season is - it's not just chocolate (no matter how awesome Cadbury Creme Eggs are) or dyeing eggs, it's the Passion. They inspire me to renew my promises, keep up my journey, and try to remember what I forgot in these three years.

Also today the tickets I ordered for Dance Facets arrived. One of the college benefits is we sometimes get free tickets to college events (student produced plays, orchestral performances, dances, etc.). One of my coworkers was going to attend and had a ticket for herself and her husband, I offered her my two tickets so she could bring her daughter, as well. We do this for each other all the time, though, so I don't know if it counts under the 29 Gifts rules.

Yesterday my gift was easy - I went to a wedding, so my gift was the wedding present from their bridal registry. I got way more, though - the day was soooooo much fun, the setting was so beautiful, the people were so wonderful, plus I got physical stuff like incredible food, candy, and photo booth pictures. But the best part was the company - lots and lots of laughter.

Today my gift was giving a friend a picture of a card she sent me ages ago. She mentioned how much she liked the picture on it. I have missed pictures on cards and have held off sending a card because I liked the image too much. So I always intended to scan it in and send it to her. Finally got around to sending it, plus I made two LJ icons from the main images in case she wanted to use them as avatars.

Today I gave (shared) a sympathy card with my office and with a friend. I found out an hour before close of business day that a coworker's mother just passed away. I got out a sympathy card because I vowed to be brave and send a card the next time someone passed away. (I have trouble sending them because I never know what to say.) I had bought a stack to keep in my desk at work, so I pulled one from the drawer and made it out, signed for myself and my husband, addressed and stamped it to make sure I could get it in the mail Saturday. But then I decided to take the card around the office and offer to let anyone who wanted to sign the card, too. Everyone not only signed it, they were super happy and thankful for the opportunity - so I'm actually pretty pleased with this gift, even though it's for such a sad event. I also gave the gift of prayers for the family and lit a candle.

And since it's not all about giving, but being aware of the giving and receiving that is constantly occurring in our relationships...

I received, mindfully, a dozen donuts from a friend.

Today my gift was sharing half my special coffee malt balls with my parents and remembering to bring some cookies back to my coworkers from a retirement party I got to attend that they didn't.